Wednesday Jan28

I feel untouchable today! Boy the mind can really be a rollercoaster! 1 day you are fighting to stay on track & the next it all seems second nature!

I will continue to move forward & when I hit a bump or MAJOR pothole in the road I WILL pick myself up & move forward!

I AM WORTH IT!

What will it Take??????

How the hell do you kick it hard core for 2 straight weeks get wonderful results & just fall down?!?!?!? I am sooooo sick of this! I am sick of kicking butt on my workouts & follow the eating 100% then slip! I tell myself all the time this has to stop! I have such a food addiction! I totally understand it is up to me to put the food into my mouth. I have prayed for strength. This is a REAL problem for me. It is NOT me just being weak. I want this more than anything in life. However, its like I go into this robotic mode & destroy everything in my path.


OMG I gotta go to sleep, I am rambling & starting to sound like the people that annoy me!

Wednesday Jan. 21st

Monday I pushed my workout to a whole new level. I was still so weak by last night that I had to go down in my weights a little! I HATE step-up lunges!!!!!!!

I'm having a hard time today because someone at work said I'm actually looking BIGGER! Thank goodness the Divas cleared some things up about that! However, I still hear her voice telling me "You look bigger, more bulky than you used to".....AAAARRRGGGG!!!!! I will continue doing what I've been doing because I know its right!

Tracy.....if you happen to read this......I can never thank you enough for helping me last summer! You put my head in the right direction & although I didn't get the results I wanted it had NOTHING to do with you it had to do with me not believing in myself & giving in to bad foods! You planted the seed in my head & I just started watering it so now it is blooming! THANK YOU....THANK YOU.....THANK YOU!!!

One thing I have noticed though is that following that hard workout on Monday, I have NO desire to eat bad food.....YEA!!!!! I didn't think that would ever happen! Prayers are being answered!

Moday 1/19

I swear everyday I think this is the hardest wo so far. Today, I KNOW its the hardest wo so far! It took me 1 hour 40 minutes to get it done. I burned 760 calories in that time! We still have some of Isaiahs birthday cake here & after that wo I wouldn't even think of a bite of it! I am NOT going to work this hard just so my taste buds can have 30 seconds of satisfaction!

I am on my way.....this is my 2nd week of eating clean & working HARD!

This WILL be my AMAZING year!

Friday 1/16

I have pushed really hard all week. I have been SUPER clean with my foods & pushed my workouts beyond my own belief

I will weigh & measure tomorrow. I sooooo want to see a change!

I have been so hungry the past 2 days. I mean to the point 2 hours after I eat my stomach is SCREAMING at me! Never had that happen before after only 2 hours?!?

I have tons of support from DH but NO support from anyone else. I KNOW there is a whole different person hiding within me & I WILL not stop til I find her!

100 % and feeling GREAT

I have been busting butt on my workouts the past few weeks but not so good with the eating (not horrible, just not good) I am proud to say I am on day 3 of being 100% in all areas!!!!

I started tracking my food on fitday again, I also track my calories burned. I am writing down EVERYTHING now & it seems to be working

I realized the other day I eat oatmeal with egg whites & flax seed oil EVERY morning & think nothing of it. I actually look forward to it BUT when it comes to eating my chicken or turkey I feel deprived if I don't cook it a bunch of different ways! NOW......I know I can eat the chicken or turkey to nourish my body NOT make my taste buds happy!

I have been right around 1400 calories a day. I am not weighing myself for 1 week so Saturday I'll be able to love my scale OR throw it through the window. I think I'm gonna LOVE it I feel REALLY GOOD!!!!

Day 1

How many times must you "start over"???? ANSWER: as many as it takes!

Just finished M2, I have 60 ozs. of water in me, 1 hour of exercise done, 500 calories gone

I WILL find that inner person no matter how many times I must start over! She is hiding BUT I will find her!

I feel changes happening inside but getting REAL tired of waiting for the physical changes.